Comments on: Two Things to Avoid Asking People You’ve Just Met http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/ Obsessive Compulsive Entrepreneur Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:35:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Tricia http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-37753 Tricia Mon, 02 Jul 2007 02:45:14 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-37753 I'm so glad you wrote about this topic in your blog; it's good to know I'm not the only having to field invasive questions. When I tell people what I do for a living, I almost always get follow up questions on my decision to get into the industry, my experience, and training. I even get people asking me for 'tips' which I think is an insult, years of learning went into this and they assume I can just tell them everything they need to know to "get rich" in under an hour. I also get the question of "how much do you make" and "how much did you start with." I used to just lie to them, depending on their station in life I would tell them something that wouldn't be too far out of their comfort zone, but I've just decided after reading your article to tell the truth... "I don't share specific dollar amounts with anyone but my CPA" and "I'm not qualified to teach this subject but I'm sure you can find great teachers if you're really interested." These responses may come across as rude, but a rude response for a rude question makes it okay. I’m so glad you wrote about this topic in your blog; it’s good to know I’m not the only having to field invasive questions. When I tell people what I do for a living, I almost always get follow up questions on my decision to get into the industry, my experience, and training. I even get people asking me for ‘tips’ which I think is an insult, years of learning went into this and they assume I can just tell them everything they need to know to “get rich” in under an hour. I also get the question of “how much do you make” and “how much did you start with.” I used to just lie to them, depending on their station in life I would tell them something that wouldn’t be too far out of their comfort zone, but I’ve just decided after reading your article to tell the truth… “I don’t share specific dollar amounts with anyone but my CPA” and “I’m not qualified to teach this subject but I’m sure you can find great teachers if you’re really interested.” These responses may come across as rude, but a rude response for a rude question makes it okay.

]]> By: fray http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-9355 fray Thu, 22 Feb 2007 03:26:25 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-9355 Unless you already know she is, never, ever ask a woman, "Are you pregnant?" Unless you already know she is, never, ever ask a woman, “Are you pregnant?”

]]> By: NevDull http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-8915 NevDull Sun, 18 Feb 2007 07:26:14 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-8915 Bah, just answer any question with, "I would, but my ass would hurt." Bah, just answer any question with, “I would, but my ass would hurt.”

]]> By: logtar http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-8512 logtar Tue, 13 Feb 2007 17:31:26 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-8512 So what do you do for a living and where did you go to college? LOL I agree with you completely, people do start making all sorts of assumptions with those two pieces of information when in reality neither of them really define people at all... it is sad that we live in a label driven society where people start to assume based on generalizations instead of getting to know people. So what do you do for a living and where did you go to college? LOL

I agree with you completely, people do start making all sorts of assumptions with those two pieces of information when in reality neither of them really define people at all… it is sad that we live in a label driven society where people start to assume based on generalizations instead of getting to know people.

]]> By: eric hebert http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-8465 eric hebert Tue, 13 Feb 2007 01:25:48 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-8465 The college thing affects me but in the present tense. I live in a college town. I'm young. I'm always on the computer. So people are always asking me what my major is. It can an awkward question; I choose not to let it be awkward. I play the drop-out turned biz owner card on people and their like "wow". So I don't think it's the questions that are awkward, it's just people. I could care less what people think and tell it like it is, no matter what the question is. The college thing affects me but in the present tense. I live in a college town. I’m young. I’m always on the computer. So people are always asking me what my major is. It can an awkward question; I choose not to let it be awkward. I play the drop-out turned biz owner card on people and their like “wow”. So I don’t think it’s the questions that are awkward, it’s just people. I could care less what people think and tell it like it is, no matter what the question is.

]]> By: David http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-8422 David Mon, 12 Feb 2007 16:37:13 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-8422 Funny enough, that as someone who quit college and sees it as having no value, I rarely ever ask anyone where they went. The exception would be, that at my age a lot of people are still IN college and theres not much else to talk about. I'm pretty proud of not having graduated college. As Kanye said, "Oh you graduated? Naw, I decided I was finished." The old "what do you do" question. I guess I ask it often enough, and I get asked a lot. I give a slightly different answer every time. How DO you explain what some of us do? It would be interesting to see where conversations go if you purposely try to leave that out of it. Funny enough, that as someone who quit college and sees it as having no value, I rarely ever ask anyone where they went. The exception would be, that at my age a lot of people are still IN college and theres not much else to talk about. I’m pretty proud of not having graduated college. As Kanye said, “Oh you graduated? Naw, I decided I was finished.”

The old “what do you do” question. I guess I ask it often enough, and I get asked a lot. I give a slightly different answer every time. How DO you explain what some of us do? It would be interesting to see where conversations go if you purposely try to leave that out of it.

]]> By: Hawaii SEO http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-8362 Hawaii SEO Mon, 12 Feb 2007 03:47:54 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-8362 Good points. Even worse... I've had a few strangers ask me what my parents do for a living & where my parents went to school. (WTF!?) The rule I grew up with was to avoid starting conversations about Sex, Religion & Politics. (You never know who you're going to offend) One exception might be if you already know the answer. It can be a good move to ask someone where they went to school if you already know it was Harvard. You can act impressed and give them a chance to talk favorably about themselves a little. (IMO)Unless you already know the answer... It's also a good idea to avoid asking about things like marital status & kids. Luckily, I don't have any problems in that area but I realize a lot of people do. The last thing I want, is to get stuck listening to someone's divorce, or infertility details. It always amazes me when a near stranger starts asking me about my wife and kids. What if we were getting a divorce or my wife just had a miscarriage? Good points.

Even worse… I’ve had a few strangers ask me what my parents do for a living & where my parents went to school. (WTF!?)

The rule I grew up with was to avoid starting conversations about Sex, Religion & Politics. (You never know who you’re going to offend)

One exception might be if you already know the answer. It can be a good move to ask someone where they went to school if you already know it was Harvard. You can act impressed and give them a chance to talk favorably about themselves a little.

(IMO)Unless you already know the answer… It’s also a good idea to avoid asking about things like marital status & kids. Luckily, I don’t have any problems in that area but I realize a lot of people do. The last thing I want, is to get stuck listening to someone’s divorce, or infertility details. It always amazes me when a near stranger starts asking me about my wife and kids. What if we were getting a divorce or my wife just had a miscarriage?

]]> By: EricLee http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-8319 EricLee Sun, 11 Feb 2007 22:40:57 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-8319 I'm getting ready to visit China, and have been reading a bit about the different assumptions Chinese have about appropriate topics when meeting strangers. The books say - don't be surprised if a Chinese stranger makes conversation by asking questions like: 'what is your religion?' 'why don't you have any children', and 'why are you so fat?' Should be an interesting visit. I’m getting ready to visit China, and have been reading a bit about the different assumptions Chinese have about appropriate topics when meeting strangers. The books say - don’t be surprised if a Chinese stranger makes conversation by asking questions like:

‘what is your religion?’
‘why don’t you have any children’, and
‘why are you so fat?’

Should be an interesting visit.

]]> By: ogletree http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-8301 ogletree Sun, 11 Feb 2007 17:42:08 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-8301 How about "boxers or briefs?" :) How about “boxers or briefs?” :)

]]> By: Anonyma http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking/#comment-8294 Anonyma Sun, 11 Feb 2007 15:22:46 +0000 http://www.shandyking.com/2007/02/08/two-things-to-avoid-asking-people-you%e2%80%99ve-just-met/#comment-8294 I recall reading a study done a number of years ago about this. A large number of men were put into a room to socialize but were told they could not ask about work or jobs. The results were a bunch of men who had no idea what to talk about. Sports? Not so much. Families. Ditto. Feelings? Hahahaha. This same experiment was done with females. I am sure you can guess the results. They had LOTS to talk about. Families, interests, feelings, life, fashion, homelife, kids, relationships, etc. The point is that males are very much defined by their work. It's how they are perceived in society as well as how they perceive themselves. While most women do work it's not how they define themselves or it's a very small part. They are much more well-rounded, pun intended. :) I recall reading a study done a number of years ago about this. A large number of men were put into a room to socialize but were told they could not ask about work or jobs. The results were a bunch of men who had no idea what to talk about. Sports? Not so much.
Families. Ditto. Feelings? Hahahaha.

This same experiment was done with females. I am sure you can guess the results. They had LOTS to talk about. Families, interests, feelings, life, fashion, homelife, kids, relationships, etc.

The point is that males are very much defined by their work. It’s how they are perceived in society as well as how they perceive themselves. While most women do work it’s not how they define themselves or it’s a very small part. They are much more well-rounded,
pun intended. :)

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